Enough

I've had enough.
I'm pressing pause
On the contracted self
Improvement clause.
This is enough.
No more training,
Good bye to all
Routines of health
That promise golden
'When I get there',
Which creep more distant
As if by stealth.
No more receding
Event horizon
Of fantasised and flawless Me
I'm calling time
On 'just keep going'
And ask 'so what?'
Of where I could be.

I've had enough.
I'm pressing stop
On the endless
Self Improvement shop.
This is enough.
No more racing
Onward to some never end.
No more goal and
No more hurry
That leads nowhere but
Round the bend.
No to ticking
Unticked boxes
Yawning empty, never filled
And no compulsive 'making most'
Of all my time
That's not yet killed.

I've had enough.
Time to delete
Benches that
Mark me incomplete.
I am enough,
Won't waste life scheming,
Preening, just to welcome death,
No building up
Some perfect future
Just to die in
When I'm out of breath.
No more constantly reworking
Portrait brushstrokes
That would recall
A character who never was
To unseeing eyes
From my sepulchre wall.

I've had enough
And will uninstall
The system software
That renders small
That invents flaws,
Creates distractions
And commodifies
Obsessive actions.
No good intention
As 'guilty' verdict,
I won't let my path
Become my cell.
I won't let my tool
Become a weapon
That keeps me subject
In ritual hell.
I won't let support
Become my fetter
Nor comfort blankets
Smother me,
I won't let guidelines
Be my jury
There are no rules
Can set me free.

I've had enough
And so I'm running
The executable file
Of the infinitely
Unfolding
Unknown
Into an expanse
Of creative
Unrepeatable
Contingency.
I've had enough.
This is enough.
Time to be
As I am.
Enough.