Exorcise

​I used to believe I had to exercise my demons
By putting them on a treadmill
And running away from my own skin
Until finally wraith like
And ephemeral
I could escape
The fleshly clutches of my own existence.
But my devils got tired,
So tired of
The pursuit of other people's problems.

So then I believed if I could only
Woman up.
Strengthen.
I could become a demon slayer
Ruthless and uncompromising
And banish
Those darker thoughts
To the confinement of
Never at all.

So much for self possession.

The Devil must be sick, sick, sick
Of carrying the can for all
My dirty secrets
But still he's always had my back.

Now I know.
True strength is neither flight nor fight.
They will not serve.
Every life story ends with a death sentence.
So now I simply sit
and hold
The hand
Of all that I once feared.
And listen.