The Maths Exam

The probability is extremely low
That there’s nothing here I do not know
But so it begins, I turn the page;
Should I really be doing this at my age!?

1.5 x a decade ago
When I first accepted the ratio
Of sums I could do, to those I could not
Would barely fill a dreaded box plot,

I conceded defeat with far more grace
(Unable to master shape or space)
Indifferent at best to achieve grade D
And oblivious to y = mx + c

But this time the results are more heavily weighted
To my sense of pride it now is equated.
I struggle, recalling feedback from the mock as
I curl up my TOAS inside sweaty SOH CAHs

There are some I can’t do and some I’m not sure on,
The average suggests I might yet be a moron
But slowly it seems I make some marks mine
(Whilst hoping to dodge the ruling cosine).

Without my workings becoming too mangles
I state what degree a line has been angled
But I think I developed allergic reactions
To my latest attempt at subtracting fractions.

The algebra page is a washout quite frankly,
I spend a few minutes just staring blankly
Then through some feat of mental contortion
Have a bash at inverse proportion.

I construct a bisector! (My shading is blinding!)
I try to interpret a surveys finding
But (like me) the frequency’s far too dense
And I’m now becoming unbearably tense.

Work out x on this cubic graph?
Honestly now, are you having a laugh?!
Ten minutes left, to the end I am tearing,
I lose my direction, trip over a bearing

And try to determine a common factor
With about as much ease as I spit out a tractor.
Note to examiner; my square isn’t completed
Because I’m afraid, my brain overheated

PENS DOWN! That’s it; you’ve run out of time
And no, you can’t ‘just finish that line’.
Che Sera, C’est La Vie, you’ll just have to wait
For eight long weeks to learn your fate!

Epilogue

Fingers bulging with trepidation,
I join the others across the nation
At six a.m. on the college web page
Loading results takes an age

But finally there upon the screen
I can’t believe what I’ve just seen
Has there been an error?
Have I read the wrong column?

My mood is scarcely any less solemn
But slowly becomes one of sheer elation
As I begin planning the celebration
So I re-read the news that has made my day;

It all paid off; I got an A!