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A New Start at EarthHeart.co.uk

26/1/2025

I always try and make sure January is a time of gentle, quiet rest and introspection but in taking that time to hibernate a little, I also find rich opportunity to invest time in creative projects and it's often at this time of year that I find time to collate a year's worth of poems, edit, whittle, select, illustrate and finally self publish...

Please check out the rest of this article on our new website and blog page over at www.earthheart.co.uk; See you there...!

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Farewell to 2024

6/1/2025

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My last post was a little bit of a tangent from the Earth Heart mission, in so far as it didn't relate directly to growing organic veg, baking vegan cakes, developments in planning permission or creative adventures in music or crafts. A project is ultimately informed by the life experiences of its team though, so recording my mum's death as one aspect of a very strange December didn't seem inappropriate in the least. Happily, there were other experiences in the month alongside funeral arrangements; a four week stint of Christmas markets (well, 3 markets and a honesty box special opening!) was also part of the picture, even if two of those weeks were somewhat derailed by storms and inclement weather!

To be honest, if mum had died the day before I spent almost £100 on festive baking and mincemeat ingredients, there's a chance I may have decided it would be a kindness to myself to cancel the markets for this year. Of course, she died the day after though and I was just too stubborn to let it go. Having said that, having an alternative, parallel focus for the month was actually pretty helpful and got me out of bed on a couple of mornings when I may otherwise have struggled to emerge...

We started the season on the 30th of November at the Workhouse Christmas Market in Llanfyllin (you may or may not remember that was the venue of the Food Fair back in September) and it was a lovely start to festivities. I felt lucky to be around many of our new local friends at that event, given that it was a little jarring, leaping from eulogy writing to carol concerts!

We'd planned to attend the Christmas Farmer's Market at Lake Vyrnwy the following weekend, Nik's birthday too, the 7th of December, but that was sadly cancelled owing to the imminent arrival of Storm Darragh. Whilst I do my best to produce everything as freshly as possible, you'll understand that by the day before a market I've finished 90% of the baking (apart from bread and gluten free stuff, which is baked last minute and often obscenely early on the day!). That sparked a last minute scramble for an alternative event since there are only so many mince pies that even Nik can consume, and so it was back to Llanfyllin for the Christmas tree lights switch on. The tree was outside, I as very grateful to be offered space inside a local hotel who let us use their breakfast room as a market hall!

We were disappointed not to go to Vyrnwy of course and I really wasn't sure how it would go, since the good people of Llanfyllin had already patronised us so warmly just a week earlier but I needn't have worried and they must have enjoyed their purchases, as we made good sales that evening too, completely selling out of veg to boot! Llanfyllin really has such a lovely community of people and they clearly seem to appreciate the Earth Heart products so we came away from those weeks with a resolve to revisit the Thursday street markets in the spring.

Organised events drew to a quiet close on the 14th of December at a pop up market in Llanyblodwel, which was the least busy, yet we took enough to make it worth the effort financially as well as an enjoyable way to spend a day!

Finally, we made an experimental honesty box opening, which had been planned for the winter solstice weekend but ended up being the 23rd and 24th of December owing to more high winds making it impractical to open safely and unlikely that anyone would want to stop! We were hoping for last minute gift sales and Christmas lunch veg purchases, perhaps even a few final mince pies... But everyone was either well prepared or too busy to pull over so we had no passing trade. Thanks to the wonders of social media, I did manage to secure a couple of deliveries to (you guessed it) Llanfyllin, so we weren't left with any perishables that we wouldn't enjoy ourselves over the coming days.

And that was that for 2024.

We're feeling optimistic about 2025 and we're hoping to get a new website up and running in order to transition away from good old glittermouse.co.uk and give ourselves more opportunities for things like online sales and orders for local delivery. We're planning veg boxes, celebration cakes and selection packs of baking, which is obviously some expansion, but we'll certainly stay relatively small scale to keep the right side of enjoyment versus employment and save energy for creativity and (ugh) more planning application work. In the first week of January, the snow is lying thick and frozen, encouraging a degree of hibernation and certainly plenty of rest while the days are still so short. We'll mostly be making like the bulbs for some time, sleeping under fluffy blankets and gathering our strength for when the days get longer! There may be a new poetry collection in gestation too, which I'm hoping will be the first bit of real news for 2025.

Thank you for reading and for all your support through 2024. Rest well until next time!

Yes, our oven really is that small...

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Good Bye Mystic Chris

10/12/2024

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My last post, on the 31st of October, took the seasonal festival of Samhain/Hallowe'en/Día de los Muertos as an opportunity to reflect briefly on my experience of loss and relationship with death. Little did I know, as I turned a pumpkin recipe into an excuse to muse on mortality, that less than a fortnight later I'd be holding my mum's hand as she finally let go of her colourful life. Of course, that marked the start of not so much a new process of grieving as the Admin Phase and the weeks since that time have seen not only the planned flurry of festive fairs and seasonal baking but also legal, financial and organisational duties as an only child and sole next of kin. Today, I had the honour and privilege of holding a relaxed ritual space for my mum's funeral and several people, some present, some absent, have asked for a copy of the eulogy. So here it is. I guess it becomes more of an obituary now it's published in written form but since it's a longer piece it's perhaps better to think of it simply as a life story. Mum was an active blogger too, so posting it here seems like not only a practical way of sharing it widely, including with her many online friends, it also feels very fitting. I will share more about Christmas markets and exciting plans for the new year soon. In the meantime, I'm going to allow myself a bit of space for the Grieving Phase. Goodbye Mystic Chris. Thanks for having me.

Mystic Chris: 27/11/57 - 13/11/24: (With Thanks to Alan Yates)

Chris with Kieron and Uncle Ron in October 2016

Thank you for coming to say goodbye to Chris this morning. I'm her daughter, Annabeth. When I was little, and not so little, I'd often make cards for mum's birthdays, which she seemed to appreciate just a little more than less personal shop bought greetings. Choosing a 'Family Led' funeral is the last chance I have to hand craft something for her. I also know full well how little mum enjoyed formal events of this nature and it feels more easeful in many ways to hold this space myself with support from mum's friends. It wasn't always easy to predict how mum would feel about things but I'm pretty certain that in this case she would have approved.

Neither it easy to summarise 66 years in 10 minutes but I've tried to compose these words like a prism might capture a single beam of white light to demonstrate a rainbow. Mum was a multi faceted person and I'm attempting to touch on many of these with the love, respect and authenticity that befits her, whilst occasionally evoking her irreverent sense of humour!

I believe it's traditional to begin a eulogy with basic facts. Mum was born in Epsom, in 1957 to Gordon and Valerie Lawrence, and baptised Christine Mary. Her name presented some challenges for her throughout life, not least the number of wasted Christmas cards accidentally signed 'Merry Christine', and she much preferred the gender neutral 'Chris' as she noted prompter and less condescending correspondence when people assumed she was male. Her first home was at Sussex Gardens in Chessington, where she lived with her parents and younger brother Jim. In 1964 the family moved to a larger home in Kingswood Close, Surbiton and in 1967 they were joined by little brother Peter.

Other family relationships that were important to her include her grandparents; she was very proud that Grandad Lawrence had been Foreign Editor of the Daily Mail though took pains to be sure you knew 'it was a respectable newspaper then'! She also spoke with great affection of her maternal great grandmother Mimi, grandmother Nanna, and her maternal grandfather. She often referenced 'Grandad Scott' when reflecting on her great love for the natural world and especially recounted his knowledge of flora and fauna, indeed I grew up feeling that I could tell a primrose from a cowslip for example, because of his knowledge handed down to me through her.

Chris, me and Michael, mid 1980's

A very little me with a very young mum... 1983 (or something)

Another important family relationship is that which she treasured with her ‘bestest’ paternal uncle Ron, and through my early childhood, a fortnight spent with him on the Essex coast was a highlight of our summer. In her later years, as a non driver, she struggled with quite bad travel anxiety yet such was her love for Ron that she did manage the journey across London and out to Leigh on Sea by train on occasion. It made a real impression on me that when he was admitted to hospital twice during his final days she felt moved to make that journey both times, setting aside her personal discomfort. Perhaps just one example of the reserves of inner strength that she could tap into at times of difficulty. In fact, though mum would be the first to admit to her struggles with the everyday challenges of managing life that she often referenced as 'adulting', I have never been in any doubt that she was an excellent companion in an emergency.

Saturday Afternoon (Posed!) Snooze

Education was a mixed bag for mum and it's fair to say that conventional pedagogy of the sixties and seventies was unequipped to cater to her needs. Most of her stories of time at Surbiton High revolved around relating various attempts to be expelled. She often referenced the notorious St Trinians in attempts to describe the experience of school and she did have a way of engaging with life that was incorrigibly naughty; I have recently held close to the mental image of her face creased into barely suppressed giggles as she tried to catch my eye at some deliciously inappropriate moment, such as this one. Despite this, she was an intelligent woman, an avid reader, witty, creative and crafty (in more ways than one!). Learning and knowledge were deeply important to her and I have many memories of home teaching; she taught me to read and write long before I went to school. She also continued to enjoy acquiring skills and knowledge of various topics right through her life. She was curious and easily fascinated.

Upon finally breaking free of school, she attended secretarial college before entering the world of work at a theatre lighting company in Central London and then as an arts and handicrafts instructor at a local nursing home. Around this time she met my dad, Michael, at a local amateur dramatics society and they were married at St Mark's church in Surbiton on the 28th of April 1979. Mike and Chris set up a home together on Garrison Lane in Chessington and kindly arranged for me to be delivered as a fiftieth birthday present to her mum, Valerie on the 28th of June 1981. When I was born, Chris stopped work, as many new mothers do though I can't bring myself to use the term 'housewife' because the image that conjures couldn't be further from the reality of how she brought value to my young life. Preferring to invest her energies in less domestic areas, she joined the board of parent governors at my primary school and volunteered with peripheral activities, such as sitting with children learning to use computers or supporting class teachers.

With Puck the Squirrel!

When I developed an interest in environmental issues and animal rights at age nine, far from throwing her hands up in horror at being asked to provide a vegetarian diet in the early nineties (it wasn't quite so mainstream then), she in fact joined me in that shift and together we became involved in various local and national campaigns seeking to raise awareness and affect positive change. She especially enjoyed her years volunteering in the café at The Beacon environmental centre from the early to mid nineties, where she formed many life long friendships. Chris was a liberal mother and was more concerned to make sure I felt comfortable to discuss anything with her than to create structures of discipline that might drive me to secrecy. In fact, many of my school or college friends commented that we were more like friends than mother and daughter. Indeed, over time, Chris came to feel increasingly restricted by the traditional roles ascribed to her and to seek fulfilment beyond these limitations. Ultimately, this led to the end of her marriage to Michael, a painful and stressful time for all the family but one that did eventually lead to happier times.

Chris went back to work in the mid nineties and did all she could to support us to stay in the maisonette on Garrison Lane. She initially took work in a local nursery and then spent some years as a receptionist at an opticians, but these feel like inconsequential details and she really couldn't be defined by any job title. The world of formal employment was as much of an alien territory to mum as school had been and though she persevered, she never found a paid role that worked for her in the long term. She was always happier pouring her energy into community projects, volunteering roles and local campaigns; many are the times she gave a particularly sharp piece of her mind during Council meetings at Guildhall and she certainly wasn't afraid of delivering a cutting heckle. I especially well remember her enthusiastic involvement in setting up Chessington Hall Residents Association, alongside Kieron with whom she was by then partnered. Meeting Kieron signalled the advent of some happier times, when we would enjoy long walks in the local greenbelt, stargazing trips to nearby Winey Hill or cosy evenings in with bottomless cups of tea! Time with Kieron also rekindled a childhood interest in aeroplanes and they visited air fields and museums together.

Chris and Kieron in The Lamb, Kingston, 1997

In May 2006, the death of Chris' father and mother just 18 days apart marked a real low point in her life and it came to light that she was seriously struggling to live alone. She entered a significant period of depression and vulnerability and I remain deeply grateful to Kieron for sticking by her side through these difficult years, taking necessary action in supporting her to resolve debts and even offering her a home with him when it became clear it wasn't tenable for her to retain the property at Garrison Lane. She lived with Kieron in York Way, Chessington, until she went into hospital in January of this year and I have no doubt that it was the stability of being welcomed into his home which enabled mum to relax into many of the activities that brought her so much joy in what were to be the final years of her life.

Amongst those things were a deepening interest in spiritual and esoteric matters. She attended crystal healing courses and began learning Celtic tree lore, including the Ogham alphabet, reminiscent of a time some years back when she had taught herself to read runes. She turned her voracious appetite for books to the topics of Druidry, Paganism and Witchcraft and began a journey of self development in line with the beliefs of these faiths, which happily complemented my own practice of Buddhism, so we enjoyed long conversations on all sorts of spiritual matters.

During the pandemic, mum proactively enjoyed making new friends online and through regular calls into shows presented by Neil Long on Radio Jackie, who also became a personal friend. Due to the nature of many of her contributions to his breakfast show on air, Neil awarded her the nickname Mystic Chris, which she absolutely loved, and she used that moniker to start a blog page on Facebook where she relished utilising the natural writing skills of an eclectic reader to share various musings on topics influenced by her interest in Paganism. Her regular readers especially appreciated her willingness to share and reflect on her vulnerable moments and she confided in me that though she was delighted when people found her posts relatable, the writing was a hugely cathartic process in itself.

In many of the last calls I had with her before she went into hospital, the focus of her excitement related to an increasing involvement in building friendships and volunteering her time at the weekly Square 1 Community Café in Chessington, set up to offer a safe and inclusive space for people experiencing loneliness and isolation. Such projects gave mum a sense of meaning and perspective, and she was looking forward to mental health first aid training to equip her more fully in her role there. She joined the Pagan Federation too and began attending moots and rituals, meeting many like minded souls in person and extending her social group for the first time in some years.

Even in the last months of life, she remained a memorable character. Following life changing surgery in February, she spent some time at Kingston Hospital, then in Teddington Memorial Hospital for rehabilitation. She finally moved to Hamilton House nursing home in July where she planned to build her strength back and move to more independent living. She'd barely been resident a week before she was proof reading and submitting content for the newsletter and proudly telling me she was the first resident to help interview a new member of staff! She enjoyed life at Hamilton and formed fond relations with staff, of whom she always spoke highly. If you met mum, even briefly, there's a good chance you wouldn't forget her quickly!

Leigh on Sea, October 2016

We will all have different memories and impressions of Chris. She was often a warm, approachable and open minded woman who made friends easily and had a genuine desire to give her energy to those around her whenever she could. She could have an infectious sense of humour and I hope many of you will have memories of mischievous grins and cheeky giggles as well as the listening ear and well timed cups of tea. But it would in no way honour any human life, let alone the memory of someone as unique as Chris to lay only the light to rest. There are a few of you here who will also have intimately known what life could be like to live with mum when she was embattled by her darker moods and it is in knowing that she is now relieved of their weight that I have found most consolation in recent days. I think she would want me to share that in her later years, she came to identify as neurodiverse, and it is my belief that if she had been born today she would have had better access to the necessary support mechanisms that empower a neurodiverse brain in a neurotypical world. Life, as one is expected to live it, didn't always suit my mum and I believe her discovery of witchcraft and the Pagan faith was maybe the first time in her life she found a way to form an identity that felt closer to her lived experience of herself than the labels of ‘daughter’, ‘mother' or 'wife'. I believe it was the closest she came to being truly happy.

Despite having spoken for probably longer than I’m supposed to, I’ve barely scratched the surface of mum and I've edited out more than I wanted. She had so many qualities, sometimes conflicted energies and a depth of character that rendered her mystic perhaps to herself more than anyone. For that reason, her memory evades simple summary but amongst so many other things I shall remember her as a brave, colourful, fish out of water, a bearer of potential, uncomfortable in urban hustle and bustle, preferring a quiet life close to nature and the gentle company of cats... unless something exciting caught her attention or she caught wind of a juicy cause to fight!

'Selfie' with me and mum; October 2016

Mum, your life was in many ways a mystery, and I know life was often a mystery to you too. May you return now, at ease and at peace, to the mysterious here after. Go well, into the unknowable and lay your burdens down as we commit your body to the flames of transformation. May the light of your faith guide you to the loving arms of the Goddess and may the darknesses you knew cast no shadows on the next stage of your journey.

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Onion Squash Scramble... and the Dance of Light and Dark!

31/10/2024

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I might not have posted quite as many seasonal recipes this year as I'd have liked but there's absolutely no way I could let pumpkin season slip by without sharing A) my favourite kind of squash and B) my favourite thing to do with my favourite kind of squash, a recip(ish) that I invented last year and we've been eagerly awaiting the harvest to recreate...

It seems especially appropriate to share a pumpkin themed recipe today too; calendar Samhain (Lunar Samhain is tomorrow), perhaps more commonly known as Hallowe'en or All Hallows Eve, heralding the arrival of All Saint's Day or in certain parts of the world, Día de los Muertos. I shall let you do your own research on those festivals if you want historical, anthropologic or theological accuracy but I'll happily share my own take on it and why it feels important to mark in some way; Samhain (pronounced 'saowain') is a Celtic Pagan fire festival which I believe is fairly authentically ancient. The name translates to 'summer's end' in Gaelic at the point of transition from the lighter to the darker days.

A Samhain/Diwali Shrine...

The last festival was Autumn Equinox, when we saw a balance in the length of night and day but it's unlikely to have escaped the attention of many that we're now experiencing more darkness than daylight. This is the time of year when the trees embody that wonderful dance of dying whilst being at their most abundant, teaching those who would learn that true riches aren't found in clinging, demonstrating the grace and beauty of releasing that which has served its purpose and allowing even their precious fruits to be recycled back into the earth from which they were nurtured, to prepare for and nourish the new year's growth. But first... The darkness. And of course the trees know full well the importance of darkness, half their very bodies live an entire life in the dark, rooting down to places where the light is not welcome.

And we need the darkness too, just as much as we need the light. From the darkness we are gifted rest, reflection, recovery. So there's a reason this time of year is the time we are invited to pause and consider those we have lost, gifts of life we have been called to return to the darkness. It's a time I like to especially call to mind people in my life who have died, to reflect with gratitude on all they brought to enrich my life and practice accepting their death, as well as the inevitably that I shall one day be following in their footsteps. That's not always comfortable, but it feels like an important way of becoming a bit more honest about being alive.

I often think that if we could learn to be a little more comfortable with death, we might find life a little more comfortable too. So whether or not you believe that the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest tonight, I think it's a pretty appropriate time to listen to the voices of those we outlive, be they ancestors, family, friends or strangers for that matter.
Life is not forever and what you do with it matters.

But hang on. Isn't this the precursor to a recipe? What about the pumpkins?! Why is it relevant to share a pumpkin recipe today? Well, of course it's completely seasonally appropriate and the folklore linking carved vegetables to this festival also goes back a long way (I'll let you research that yourself too) but of all the fruits (yes, it's a fruit) that demonstrate life and vigour springing from death, I can't help thinking the pumpkin really is the crown prince. Pumpkins and squash absolutely thrive on a huge, great, metaphorically steaming piles of well rotten compost. They take last years dead stuff and grow rampantly on it, trumpeting their presence with great, sunny flowers and climbing all over the garden with their curious tendrils.

...Life and Death, Darkness and Light

I really don't think I can imagine a plant that is more dynamic, abundant or alive, which makes them completely, perfectly symbolic for a festival which turns to look at death because you can't have one without the other. There is no death with out life. There is no darkness without light... So probably no coincidence then that Diwali, the Hindu festival of light, is also celebrated at this time. Two sides of the same coin.

Uchiki Kuri or Onion Squash

So, now that the preamble is all cleared up, may I have the pleasure of introducing the Uchiki Kuri, also known as Onion Squash? It's conveniently easy to grow, usefully sized for an average meal portion, doesn't require a power tool to penetrate, stores well (easily for three or more months), cooks quickly and tastes completely delicious. How marvellous! And better still, I have discovered a totally delectable thing to do with it! Though I would never advise anything other than a simple roasting was necessary to enjoy this sumptuous squash, it happens to scramble really well with tofu.

Now, I am extremely reluctant to compare plant to animal based foods. Firstly, whilst I have no desire to convince or convert anyone to anything, there's something about the idea that 'if only vegetables tasted as nice as meat, omnivores would put the steak knife down' that seems to rather miss the point. Secondly, there's no better way of cultivating disappointment than raising expectation. So, those are the reasons that I'm not going to assert that this is like scrambled eggs. It's not like scrambled eggs.

But... If for whatever reason you had chosen to follow a plant based diet and it was quite a long time, like maybe a decade or more, since you'd eaten scrambled eggs, the chances are you'd eat this and go 'Oh, that's quite eggy' in a way you probably wouldn't if you just ate scrambled tofu. There's something about the rich, thick yellowness of the Onion Squash flesh that's just quite yolky (as I recall), which is the element I always found lacking whenever someone told me 'try this scrambled tofu, it's just like eggs!' and that is what gave me the idea to create this scrambly squashy tofuy meal, whether or not you think it tastes like anything else. You could use other squashes but my experiments haven't found a variety that does the job like this one, so set aside the watery, fibrous old butternut and seek the tender pleasure of the Uchiki Kuri, you won't regret it!

Scrambled Onion Squash with Smoky Tofu

You'll need:

1 average sized Onion Squash
1 pack of smoked tofu (Plain is fine, smoked is tastier!)
A knob (or three!) of plant butter (I use Flora)
Unsweetened soya milk (oat would probably be OK)
Salt (sulphurous Himalayan black salt gives an extra eggy hint if you want that)
Freshly ground black pepper
Chopped parsley (or whatever fresh herb you have!)

Though it's quite quick to make the actual scramble, it really helps to have the squash precooked, so I try and get one in the oven when I've got it on for something else. Simply slice it in half and pop it in (you can use oil if you like but you don't really need to), anywhere between 180°c and 220°c for 40 to 30 minutes or so, respectively. Cooking time will depend a bit on the size of the squash, of course.

When it's cool, gently tease the seedy mesh from the centre (take them out before roasting if you want to plant them in the spring!) and then scoop the flesh from the skins. The skins are really worth keeping, they make a delicious crispy, chewy snack if you cut them into strips and bake them further, or a tasty container for seasoned lentils, a bit like stuffed peppers but crispier. The cooked flesh (and skins, for that matter) will keep well in the refrigerator for a few days so it makes sense to get ahead on that if you can, especially if you want this meal earlier in the day (we enjoy it as a weekend brunch!).

When you're ready to make the scramble (actually, you can prepare this bit in advance too), break the tofu into chunks and gently mash it in a large bowl with the squash flesh, salt, pepper, parsley and enough soya milk to allow the squash and tofu to mix well, maybe half a cup.

Melt the plant butter in a large frying pan and add the milky squashy tofu mixture to the hot, melted fat. Cook it, stirring fairly regularly until it starts to reduce down a bit and get to a consistency you like. You can always add more milk if it seems dry or starts sticking.

Serve on hot, buttery toast with all the trimmings; mushrooms, tomatoes and wilted chard (home grown, of course!) are especially good companions!

I suggest feasting upon this seasonal treat whilst reflecting upon how good it is to be alive to enjoy it (and maybe being quietly grateful for everyone else who had to be alive in order for you be here to do that!) May your long autumn nights be cosy and quiet, may this time of letting go release you from burdens and may you find the time to rest, renew and restore in the darkness.

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Autumn Treats and Being Good Enough

18/10/2024

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The nights are getting longer...

It didn't end up being three clear weeks of down time and painting glass. Life seems to have a way of presenting me with Things To Do, especially when I'm trying to take some time to Do Nothing and the first of those weeks was mostly spent in tying up loose ends and existing commitments from the previous busy month, including the long awaited kitchen inspection. The second week allowed for more rest and down time, a gathering of energies and some planning, whilst the third week looked a lot more like a ramping back up and a bringing together of some new creative outcomes. That culminated in a full moon full day of baking, including two new recipes, ahead of reopening the Earth Heart Honesty Box for a seasonally themed offering and it was a joy to find myself feeling energised and inspired once again!

I can't quite believe it's already three weeks since I realised I needed a tactical break from the cycle of weekly baking that I'd launched two months previously. After peaking with a three week run of food fair and pop up bakeries, all requiring an extra push, I was feeling tired, rundown and a bit out of touch with my love for the craft. I knew I needed to be creative about that in order to remain more broadly happy and productive. Putting the brakes on and taking some time out seemed the best way to go about a system reset; I've recently taken the scary step of deciding to become my own manager after all, so I may as well make the most of that autonomy! In addition to creating much needed space for rest, I also wanted to give myself an opportunity to spend a little time on some of my other crafting, which has been a little neglected since the baking project came on the scene... There are only so many hours in the day after all!

Open Again on a Crisp Autumn Morn!

I'm excited to be sharing some new seasonal crafts too, there are photos below of upcycled jars with a Samhain/Hallowe'en/Day of the Dead theme, a new wintery greeting card design, some autumn/winter wishing stones and some equally seasonal hanging stars and hearts decorations. (Nik thinks but I can't quite decide if the latter are 'baubles' as they're not balls... But you get the idea!)

Earth Heart Kitchen; Proud to be Good!

I've been celebrating our adequacy by cooking up mini pumpkin pies and toffee apple flapjacks (home grown pumpkin and apple, naturally!) as well as the classic and unfailingly popular peanut butter cookies. There's also gluten free banana loaf, mini raisin loaves (think teacake meets artisan bloomer) and home grown fruit jams... A few blackberry and apple as well as a new batch of soft-set autumn raspberry, which we've been getting through rather quickly ourselves on morning toast! Of course there's veggies too; what autumnal offering would be complete without pumpkins!? We've got leeks, kale and chard too!

And of course, the Earth Heart Kitchen reopens as a freshly rated entity! After quite a bit of research and a good deal of scrubbing and painting (a bit on that here), I found myself fairly equanimous and only mildly disappointed to be awarded the second highest hygiene rating of 4 - Good. It turns out Environmental Health aren't keen on wooden surfaces in a kitchen (or an honesty box for that matter) and they prefer hot water to come from a tap instead of from the kettle. Still, we're in the process of fixing the ancient boiler (It'll be completely lovely to have hot water from a tap again!) and then we should only be a large tin of heavy varnish (and maybe a second marble work top!) away from scoring top marks at our next routine inspection. It's been an helpful opportunity for me to practice letting 'good' be 'good enough', which, after all, we are, and I've had to take care not to allow negativity bias to stop me from absorbing all the areas where there was positive feedback.

So Many Goodies! What Would You Choose?

There have been times over the last three weeks, especially when I was still feeling exhausted, where I felt frustrated that I wasn't doing what I set out to do; be that getting enough rest or creating more crafts. There were times I felt I was still doing too much and times I felt I wasn't doing enough. That probably says more about my mental habits than it says about any objective truths. Nevertheless, I appear to have achieved what I set out to do; I'm re-energised, I've got a new selection of seasonal crafts ready for sale and a fresh batch of Earth Heart Kitchen goodies that I really enjoyed baking. So, I can't have strayed too far from my intention and maybe 'Good' really can be more than Good Enough.

New Autumn Crafts!

Day of the Dead inspired Samhain/Hallowe'en Crafts

Pumpkins and Mushrooms!

Winter Magic in the Autumn Sunrise!

Hanging Hearts and Stars

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And... Rest.

27/9/2024

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It brings me no shame to tell you that I have the delicious pleasure of writing this in bed. I just did one of those full body stretches from the toes up, vibrating to the tips of the ears, like a cat in the sun. I also have a slightly cold cup of tea beside me.

Before the creation of the rapidly cooling tea, I had a To Do list. Making tea and getting in to bed wasn't on it but I realised I was feeling drained by a really full few weeks and so I acknowledged that being tired pretty much equals being grumpy, spikey and impatient, took responsibility for that and re-prioritised. So I metaphorically put 'chill out' at the top of the To Do list and now I'm resting like a dog who just got in from a longer walk than she really wanted to go on. Hopefully that will, in the near future, make me an easier, softer and more caring person to be around. The decision to take rest is sometimes an ethical act.

The last three weekends in a row, I've got up at 04:30 on consecutive mornings to ensure that the bread I'm hoping to sell that day is as fresh and as tasty as possible. That sometimes felt like fun and sometimes felt like hard work but worth it. When I approached this weekend, however; my heart sort of sunk a bit at the thought of it. I looked out of the window at the trees letting go of their summer, graceful and accepting release in both leaf and fruit and I thought... Maybe I should follow their lead.

So it's going to take some getting used to, and it's a bit against my instinct to blog about not doing something. But I'm reminded of my favourite piece of writing by Sangharakshita, which I discovered soon after becoming involved in the Triratna Buddhist Movement, his presentation of 'The Greater Mandala of Uselessness' in Wisdom Beyond Words. There's a particularly pithy quote that especially seems to come to mind, one that actually brought me to tears of relief when I first read it. 'You do not have to justify your existence.' He goes on to point out that we haven't spent millions of years evolving to sit behind computers or keep the books.*

This moment is precious, unique and perfect just as it is. So, perhaps it's time for me to really enjoy lying in bed and properly pay attention to the deliciousness of the full body stretch rather than lying here writing about it. Time to be unproductive and waste some time. The trees wouldn't see it like that. Time to rest.

When I took the decision to step away from conventional working patterns and the security of being employed, I always knew I'd bring with me the lifetime conditioning of 9 to 5 (and then some) hours, the engrained drive to do and achieve and become. I seem to have been born believing that doing more, demonstrably faster and quantifiably better was the only way to avoid the worse than mortal sin of being found (shudder) lazy. I once ran a marathon with a groin strain because the prospect seemed less painful than having anyone think I wasn't trying hard enough. The phrases 'dig a bit deeper', 'don't give up now' and 'push on until the end' are as thickly embroidered on my fragile psyche as the phrase 'mind over matter'; a particularly vicious little saying that my inner demons trot out whenever they spot me bowing under pressure and start getting scared I'm going to 'slack off' or fail to 'pull my weight'. And I do understand those voices... They've been shaped over centuries by the threatened death sentence of social exclusion for the crime of being a burden or not fitting in and they only want to keep me safe... So I thank them. But actually, do you know what? I am safe. And I've made lifestyle choices which make it completely possible for me to say 'not today, thank you. I need a rest.'

* You might enjoy this talk by the lovely Vajrapriya if you're interested in knowing more

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Peanut Butter Cookies

15/9/2024

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Peanut butter cookies have recently become a staple of my weekly bake and I've been asked for the recipe a few times since we launched the Earth Heart Kitchen. Though these are a (fairly) simple, (reasonably) fool proof thing to bake (I don't like to make assumptions about anyone's level of confidence in the kitchen!) it's taken me a little while to get around to actually sitting down and writing coherent instructions that would reliably make sense to anyone other than me! But finally, here it is!

Of course I've read, used and ignored many cookie recipes in my time but I can honestly say I've devised this particular one myself based on trial and (thankfully not too much) error. I've been ably assisted in this noble task by my trusty tester, Nik and further encouraged by wider feedback, so I'm pretty confident that this is a good enough recipe to share. I've also totally sold out of these the last two weeks in a row, at the Llanfyllin Food Fair and again at my second Dragons baking pop-up yesterday, which is probably all the assurance you need!

It's an easily tweaked recipe. I use crunchy peanut butter because that's what I like but smooth would work if you prefer it more subtle, or other nut butters for that matter would also be great. It's a good base for holding other featured ingredients too; whole peanuts work well and I love the version I make with cranberries, raisins, walnuts and almonds, which I knead into the dough before forming the cookies. I keep meaning to try chocolate chunks too. Or candied ginger... Mmmm.

That's enough waffle anyway. On with the cookies!

Peanut Butter Cookies (makes 16)

100g plain flour
100g wholemeal self raising flour
100g crunchy peanut butter
150g plant butter *(See note below)
75g dark brown sugar
75g golden granulated sugar

Combine the plain and wholemeal self raising flour in a large mixing bowl. (Don't worry if you look at these photos and think the quantities look different, I was actually making 32 cookies!)
Stir in the golden granulated and dark brown sugars until well blended.
Cut the fat and peanut butter into the flour/sugar mix.
Rub the fats into the flour and sugar, through the 'breadcrumb' stage and until the mix begins to form a dough. The bowl should eventually be almost entirely clean of flour or butter residue and the dough will form a ball. If you're making the dough in advance, it can be chilled overnight at this stage or frozen for up to six months. If the dough has become quite sticky, you could also chill it for an hour or two, until it becomes firmer and easier to work with.
Divide the mixture into 16 balls, then lightly press them between your palms to slightly squash them. They will spread as the cook, so don't make them too thin.
Arrange the dough discs onto one (or more) lined baking tray(s) and cook at 180°c for 15 to 20 minutes.
Allow the cookies to cool for 10 minutes on the tray before moving them to a cooling rack. If you move them too early, they will still be crumbly but it's good to get them on a rack to crisp up the base!

* A quick note on 'plant butter'; I use Flora, you could use any solid fat but you need to be able to rub it in. I found coconut oil for example, can be quite a lot of work to knead into dough. I used to use Stork or supermarket own brand baking block but I have discovered Flora which is tastier and doesn't contain palm oil. And that's about that! Marvellous!

Happy, ethically conscious baking! Xx

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Earth Heart Kitchen, Garden and Crafts at Llanfyllin Food Fair

9/9/2024

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It's been another busy month here at the newly incorporated Earth Heart Limited and we've been engaged in all sorts of the less fun bits of starting a small business, from registering with Companies House to employing an accountant, opening a business account and even setting up a card reader to receive payments! Mildly anxious email monitoring in anticipation of feedback from our pre-planning application for the Earth Heart glamp site has also been a feature of recent weeks...

Surely it can't be long now?!

The Earth Heart Kitchen, Garden and Craft Stall!

Bread, Cakes, Cookies and Jam... With Samples!

It was a joy to see some familiar faces (would you belive we seem to have regular customers now!?) and exciting to make some new contacts too. We had a full range of sweet treats, fresh garden produce and handmade crafts with us, all of which enjoyed some sales; Nik even considered going home for more courgettes, chard, leeks and beetroot at one point, all of which totally sold out! So too the peanut butter cookies and raisin loaves though the carrot cake and apple and raspberry flapjacks were also top sellers. I don't tend to leave poetry books in the honesty box as they're just too vulnerable to damp and dust so it was particularly lovely to sell some copies of Heart Space too, and I may have to get the glass paints out again to replenish the crafts stock before long.

I was so genuinely impressed with and grateful to everyone who came along on such a wet and muddy day, it's a real credit to the reputation of the event, now in its 7th year. I was as surprised at how quickly the soggy hours flew by as I was by the determined support of our customers, and can only imagine we'd have sold out by lunchtime had the sun been shining!

Earth Heart Crafts: Poetry,

Cards, Bottles, and Paintings

Still, we've been keeping in touch with the creative vision and since my first pop up bakery at Dragons last month, we've been gently delighted by the trickle of interest in the honesty box whilst our cockles have been well and truly warmed by some very lovely interactions at the roadside with passers by who've stopped to browse and buy from our selection of vegan baking, organic veggies and upcycled crafts. In terms of footfall though, you really can't beat an organised event and last weekend we attended our first food fair! Held at the Workhouse in Llanfyllin, the frustratingly timed (very) rainy day failed to deter a variety of stall holders, artists in open studios, musicians and intrepid members of public alike from showing up as planned and making a day of it none the less!

Veggies...

...And Cake!

Yellow Courgettes Were First to Sell Out!

I'll be back at the (wonderfully dry!) Dragons in Llanrhaeadr-ym-Mochnant next Saturday for another day of bakery pop up alongside the usual variety of local crafts and you can still find the Earth Heart honesty box, just 1 mile from the same village on the road to Penybontfawr. We've started to open most Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, come rain or shine, at least for the time being! However, I'm hoping my next update will be good news from the Powys County Council planning office, so please cross your fingers... and watch this space!

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The Earth Heart Kitchen Pops Up at Dragons!

18/8/2024

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Well, it feels like time has absolutely flown since my update just over a fortnight ago after the launch of the new Earth Heart Kitchen at our roadside honesty box! After the busyness of preparing all that was needed to open (and a working trip to London with Nik's company Feature Greens immediately afterwards!) it was good to allow ourselves a gentle few days, so whilst there was indeed fresh baking in the honesty box last Friday there were much smaller batches and only one variety of cookie! Interestingly enough, the rhubarb and loganberry flapjack, which was the shining star of the launch week and absolutely flew off the shelf down to the very last slice, didn't receive so much attention but I was glad that the gluten free offering (banana loaf) and the peanut butter cookies still made sales from passing trade.

It would be easy enough to sink into a routine of flapjacks, cookies and banana loaf in our honesty box every week but it felt like a good plan to see how we might make a few more sales. Yes, we eat what we don't sell... There's never any waste. But a triple batch of baking every week that goes to the additional effort of following all the necessary systems for legal hygiene standards and takes care to cater for a dietary restriction that neither of us have is quite a bit of work. Not to mention that if we regularly ate that many sweet treats between us I'd almost certainly need to start wearing a size up, even if Nik's healthy appetite managed to metabolise it all without incident! Anyway, who wouldn't want to give the best possible chance of the widest possible audience to the lovingly crafted products of the tentative new business that they've been pouring their heart and soul into? Especially when those products carry a use by date! And that's how I arrived at the idea of the pop up bakery...

I've been enjoying my involvement at the Dragons Craft Collective down the hill in Llanrhaeadr-ym-Mochnant village since March and volunteering weekly shifts to support and promote the community of local crafts people who also sell their wares there. Fresh, home made produce that is kitchen not factory packed doesn't have the same shelf life as crafts or poetry books so it wouldn't be appropriate for me to leave a batch of cookies to fend for themselves next to my painted jars all weekend but there's no reason why I couldn't make all kinds of baking available for sale whilst I'm anyway in the shop, hence the 'pop up' nature of the venture!

This Saturday, I signed myself up for a double shift so I'd have a bit more time to make the most of the summer tourists to the waterfall and made sure I'd baked enough for a decent stock back at home in the honesty box as well as for a little table on the corner outside the shop. I was grateful to my fellow crafters for being game to let me experiment from Dragons but I was also encouraged by the enthusiastic support of the Dragons housing co-op next door to the shop and other local residents in the village, to whom I'd mentioned the idea.

Nik and I rocked up a little early on Saturday and spent some time having a bit of a sweep and sort out of the cobbled space in front of the shop. It's a lovely space anyway, with an abundant, leafy grapevine... But it's amazing what a vase of flowers, a bit of bunting and a gingham table cloth can do!
I'd barely even got the cakes out on the table before I had a customer and sold my first beetroot and cacao brownie; a new recipe and one I was keen to share. That was a pretty encouraging start to the day and it continued happily in that vein. I was certainly pleased with the amount of cake I didn't have to take back home with me! Having said that, I wasn't ever so busy that there weren't plenty of opportunities to spend some time chatting with locals and visitors alike. I've said before, the Earth Heart project, be it glamping, baking or anything else that it may unfurl itself into, is ultimately about fostering connection. The first Earth Heart Kitchen pop up bakery at Dragons did much to demonstrate its potential to do just that!

Back up the hill at the trusty old honesty box, we also made sales and enjoyed some further opportunities for connection with passers by tourists, some of whom return to the area regularly. It's still small steps at this stage but each chat about organic growing, every conversation about the joys of home crafting or reasons for choosing vegan options help encourage us and keep us motivated on the track of building and sharing the Earth Heart vision.

Aside from keeping the honesty box topped up, and abundant, the next Earth Heart Kitchen adventure will be to the Llanfyllin Food Fair on the 8th of September at the Workhouse! Maybe see you there!

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Beetroot and Cacao Brownies

16/8/2024

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It has not escaped me that since launching a small baking start-up, I've had no time to share any recipes! Oh, the irony! When I first started writing this blog at the beginning of the year I was having to pace myself a bit and hold back from posting something or other from the kitchen pretty much everyday. Still, the sabbatical is over and I always knew that once the Earth Heart project was underway there would have to be a shift of priorities!

Seasonal is as important to us as homegrown organic, though of course the two go hand in hand. You might think baking is all about sugar, flour and butter (or plant based alternative, of course!) but happily even cakes can enjoy a seasonal home grown twist. Fruit might be a fairly obvious bed fellow of sweet teatime treats and perhaps carrot cake is a relatively well known example of how vegetables can get in on the picture but it needn't stop there!

Here is my first recipe that ticks the all the seasonal, homegrown, organic vegetable boxes and that is also all about the baking! Please give a warm welcome to Beetroot and Cacao Brownies! We've had a bit of a beetroot glut over recent weeks, if the word 'glut' isn't too ungrateful a sentiment to apply to these ruby globes of earthy nourishment! Perhaps 'abundance of beetroot' might be a more appropriate way to describe the quantity of delightful rosy tubers that have been bursting their way onto our plates like the vibrant, nutritional powerhouses that they are! But... we can only sell so many of what we can't eat. I've roasted, grated, sliced and fried and I fancied doing something else with them. Back in another life, I drank small shot bottles of beetroot juice before races as they were being marketed to runners as naturally performance enhancing super foods. I don't know if they improved my finish times at all. I've recently decided I prefer them in brownies. What a delightfully unexpected parternership it is too; the deep, rich, earthy musk of beetroot entwined with the soothing, gentle uplift of pure cacao! It's practically a health food, honest. It'll certainly make you feel better!

I'm being very specific about the cacao in this recipe. Of course you could use cocoa powder or a bakers' confectionery bar. I would have done once, until I was lead to the magical dance of high quality cacao very literally on one random full moon Friday night in Shrewsbury, thanks only to a newsletter that my predecessor must have signed up to receive to her work email! It was my discovery of Forever Cacao Club, the monthly event held by Forever Cacao, a small, artisan chocolate company who have a direct and highly responsible trade relationship with the Ashaninka community in Peru who in turn harvest, ferment and dry the wild grown, organic cacao that is then shipped to a small Welsh village (not very far from us at all), for alchemising into pure, ceremonial grade cacao and award winning chocolate bars. Cacao Club was the first time I'd found a regular place to go sober dancing since I stopped drinking every weekend after losing one of my best mates to alcoholism. That the (highly unpretentious) ritual evening began with a meditative cup of freshly brewed cacao before launching into a few hours of dancing courtesy of the accomplished and inspired resident DJ Pablo (who also just so happens to make the cacao) was an unrestrained delight and Cacao Club became a singular highlight of my month for quite some time.

I know, cocoa powder was good enough for your gran and we're all on a budget. There are all sorts of ingredients I have to compromise on if I'm going to produce something that comes in at less than £8 a slice but now I've met actual cacao, there's really no going back. You are, of course entirely free to make this recipe with whatsoever chocolatiness you choose... but I shan't be held responsible for the consequences!!

It might be considered fool hardy or even reckless to invent a new recipe the day before you intend to sell the product but I like a challenge. Most of my bakes are the result of many batches of tweaking, tasting, trial and error, grumbles, sighs and plenty of that annoying thing people do when they serve you something they've cooked then proceed to tell you about all the ways they're unsatisfied with it . No doubt I shall go on to further refine this recipe but I was so happy with these fudgy little burgandy beauties that I thought I'd make up for my recent recipe dirth and share it to celebrate my first pop up bakery tomorrow! (at Dragons Craft Shop in Llanrhaeadr-ym-Mochnant from 10am to 5pm incidentally...)

I realise I've previously said I never really follow a recipe and that's true to an extent, but baking is a science as much as it is an art and you do have to be a bit more precise with a brownie than you do with a soup. Hence, instead of my usual, rambling 'recipish' here is an actual list of weights and measures along with an actual suggested method. But you know... Do whatever.

Organic Beetroot & Cacao Brownies

125g Self Raising flour (gluten free is an option but reduce the liquid a bit, e.g. less liquid beetroot)
40g Ground 100% Organic Cacao
1 tsp Nutmeg
140g Raw Organic Beetroot, (grated and boiled down until you have about 200g mushy mixture)
100g Demerara Sugar
100 ml Maple Syrup
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
Pinch of sea salt

Preheat the oven to 180°C and line a baking tray with greaseproof paper. The one I use is about 25 x 23 cm or thereabouts!
Peel, grate and boil the beetroot. Don't use too much water. Just cover and boil until almost free of juice.
Mix (you can blend but don't have to) the beetroot, maple syrup, and vanilla extract. If you're using a stick blender, use a low speed or stay well away from anything you think might stain!
Mix the flour, cacao, nutmeg, salt and sugar in a large bowl and then gently fold in the beetroot. You may need to add a little more water at this point; but it will depend how wet your beetroot mix is. However much you decide to add (if any) add it slowly, a splash at a time. You can put it in but not take it out so easily! Ultimately you want a batter you can pour into your baking tin, not a lump as if you were making cookies but if it's too wet it'll never set. Good luck with that one.
Pour the batter into the prepared pan and pop it in the oven for around 30 minutes. If it's still obviously runny, it's not ready. If it starts burning on the outside whilst still slopping about like a flow of lava when you tilt the tray, turn the temperature down and adjust your temporal expectations! You can check when you think it's cooked by inserting a skewer or cocktail stick into the middle; if it comes out pretty much clean then you're good. Don't worry too much if it still seems very soft at this point. It will keep cooking it's own heat and will set further as it cools.
Allow it to cool thoroughly in the tin before turning it out onto a cooling rack (I'd use a sheet of greaseproof paper here too to manage sticking) and you might want to pop it in the refrigerator for an hour or so still more before you attempt slicing it.

It's worth mentioning that I updated this recipe after a bit of tweaking so the photos don't exactly match the instructions... but you get the idea! I get about 8 slices out of this bake. This is soft, gooey, fudgy, sticky, rich indulgence. But it's got some of your 'Five a Day' in it. Win/win.